I can remember certain moments of SEAL training like it was yesterday.
One of those moments was listening to an instructor we would call “Instructor Half-Butt.” He was missing his left butt cheek thanks to a rocket-propelled grenade while on a mission in Vietnam. Of course, we never called him that to his face, even though he loved to tell us he could do more with his half butt than we could with our full ones.
He was our lead instructor in the first phase of Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL training, and when he talked, you listened.
“Class 181, welcome to my forge. This is where the forging of your SEAL journey begins.”
He paused as he scanned all 122 of our faces, as if he were sizing us up for a fight.
“I like Samurai swords. They are the perfect weapon. Light, strong, sharp, and deadly. Do you know how they are made?”
Another pause. No one answered.
“They are made through the persistence of a dedicated craftsman. The metal is heated until it’s red hot, pounded on by a hammer, then dunked in cold water so the craftsman can inspect his work before repeating the process. Do you know how many times that process is repeated?”
Silence.
“Over 2,000 times.”
A sly smile cracked across his face.
“That’s the same process we’re going to do to you here. Heat you up, pound on you, stick you in cold water. You are the metal. These are my hammers,” he said, pointing to the cadre of SEAL instructors behind him. “Let the forging begin.”
And just like that, one of his “hammers” yelled, “DROP DOWN!” Code for 20 pushups. And so it began.
Half-Butt wasn’t kidding about the samurai sword analogy. Across all three phases of BUD/S, they put us through that same process and more in their pursuit of forging battle-ready SEALs.
We were willing participants. Many of us had dreamed of becoming a SEAL for years, and the journey that followed transformed us. Those experiences shaped me into the man, husband, father, and friend I am today.
As hard as that training was, there was one thing that proved even harder than the forge itself.
Leaving.
When you dedicate every ounce of your energy and commit your soul to enduring a forge like that, something happens. You become one with the identity they are creating. You are still you, but you are a different version of you.
In the case of becoming a SEAL, you are more confident. You’ve learned to push your limits. You’ve adopted a new Navy SEAL mindset physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
That transformation, and the attachment to it, is not unique to the SEAL Teams. It happens anytime you fully commit yourself to achieving something difficult. Making a Division One team. Earning a spot on an Olympic roster. Becoming a professional. Building a business.
Each of these requires a forge. You must become the version of yourself required to succeed in that environment.
With every goal you achieve comes more than just results. There is pride. There is confidence. And there is identity.
In the SEAL Teams, that identity is reinforced every time you wear the uniform. People notice the trident on your chest. You don’t have to say anything. Your identity is clear. The same is true in sports. The uniform tells the world who you are.
And then one day, you take it off.
That’s the part no one prepares you for.
By Monday, I was in civilian clothes sitting in a quantitative skills class preparing for business school. I remember thinking, “Easy day. I’ll leave the Teams, get my MBA, start a business, and build a family.”
I was wrong.
There was nothing easy about leaving. From 18 to 30 years old, everything I knew was the military. My identity was being a SEAL. It’s all I knew. When that identity was gone, it hit me harder than I expected. I got depressed. I questioned my decision. I wondered how quickly I could go back. I spent too much time looking in the rearview mirror, focused on what I had left behind, and every time I looked forward, I saw only what I didn’t like.
No one ever told me how hard that transition would be. I didn’t realize how emotionally attached I was to that identity.
Since then, I have gone through several more transitions. Some by choice. Some not.
What I’ve learned is this: every time you leave one identity and step into another, you are forging something even more powerful. You are forging growth.
You leave behind what can no longer be repeated, but you carry forward the best parts of yourself. Those become the foundation for your next chapter. With the right mindset, every transition becomes an opportunity to build a better version of yourself.
I think of transitions in two categories. Intentional transitions are the ones you choose. Leaving a career. Moving to a new place. Starting something new. Unintentional transitions are the ones that happen to you. A health issue. A change in leadership. An unexpected shift in direction.
I’ve experienced both. And through both, I’ve come back to the same process.
Every transition requires you to forge yourself again.
So I created a simple way to remember the five actions that help navigate transition. FORGE. Because every transition is a forge.
Whether the transition is intentional or not, be honest with yourself. I literally talk to myself like a coach: “Alright Millsy, here’s the situation. No going back. We’ve got this. This next chapter is going to make us better.” In the SEAL Teams, we call this situational awareness. In transition, I call it facing reality.
There is no one like you. Your experiences are unique. The lessons you’ve earned are yours. Take inventory of what you’re bringing with you. Discipline. Toughness. Team focus. Mindset. These are your tools moving forward.
Avoid the victim mindset at all costs. It keeps you stuck. Instead, ask yourself, “How lucky was I to have those experiences?” Reframe your past as a gift. Focus on what you gained, not what you lost.
Your previous identity was built through routines. Your next one will be too. Create structure. Build new habits. Accept that it will feel uncomfortable. That discomfort is the signal you are growing.
Get curious. Lean into your new environment. Learn from the people around you. Don’t rush your own goals. Those will come. Approach your transition like a student. Everyone you meet has something to teach you.
Growth comes from struggle. Transitions are part of life.
The identities we build, and the way we navigate leaving them, shape our future success and happiness. Every transition is an opportunity to grow, to evolve, and to add another fold to your samurai sword.
You are not starting over. You are building forward.
Embrace the forge.
Charlie Mike.
Alden