My speaking manager created a sizzle reel to be used as an introduction video before I take the stage.
Sizzle reels are nothing more than video of what I call an “I love-me” video, representing a collage of accomplishments. I really don’t like talking about myself from the perspective of what I have achieved, and I often start a speech by calling out my sizzle reel for what it doesn’t cover: all my failures.
The fact is, I have failed way more than I have succeeded.
To me, the failures are much more interesting than the successes. That’s because you learn more from failing than succeeding, that is if you have the right mindset.
Rule number one: we are all leaders.
How you think, where you put your focus, and what you believe are your leadership controllables. They directly impact how you lead others. How many people follow you is correlated with how you decide to lead yourself.
Here’s where leadership gets really interesting, and it’s the reason leadership is so important. Leadership is required the moment you decide to do something new to you.
Leadership shows up when you venture outside your comfort zone to embrace something new.
Sometimes that “new thing” is thrust upon us, like COVID, a Navy SEAL instructor ambushing you with a new drill, or an economic storm like 2008 or 2009.
Other times, you willingly step into it. Moving your young family to Spain. Leaving a well-paying job to become a professional speaker. Choosing a different path like attending the U.S. Naval Academy.
Yes, those are all things that have happened to me.
I’m not sharing that to toot my own horn. I want you to look at it differently. Not “look at me,” but “there are lessons here on how to adapt.” Because that’s the real point.
It’s happening all the time, and it’s only accelerating. It’s everywhere, and it doesn’t discriminate. It impacts all of us.
We all have a choice. Adapt to our situation, or let the situation force us to adapt. One is proactive. The other is reactive.
I prefer the proactive approach. I prefer leading myself to adapt.
Here’s a simple way to think about it. Change is like waves in the ocean.
Some waves are massive, like a tidal wave. Those are rare, but they happen. Think about 2009, or what many are calling the coming AI tsunami. Other waves are smaller, more manageable, like a shift in the weather forcing you to change what you wear.
But the key is this. The waves never stop. Sometimes we are just standing on the beach, watching them roll in. Most waves pass with little impact. But every once in a while, you see one coming in the distance that will impact everyone.
And in that moment, you have a decision to make.
Do you stay there and let the wave knock you over? Or do you go out and learn to ride it?
That’s the question.
Wait and react, or grab your fins, your board, and figure out how to harness the energy of change to your advantage.
To get the energy of change to work in your favor is to lead yourself to adapt. It’s something I have become very good at.
And here’s the truth. I am no more extraordinary than anyone else.
In many ways, I’m extremely ordinary. I grew up with asthma. I struggled with multiple choice tests like the SAT and ACT. I’m a slow runner. I’m not very coordinated. I’ve even scored against my own team in multiple sports.
And yes, I have failed exponentially more times than I have succeeded.
So how have I achieved a range of different things in my life? I know how to adapt.
There are five basic actions to adapting to change, but before we get to them, I want you to understand this one principle.
Don’t let that surprise you. To adapt means to do something different, and doing something different will feel weird. That is part of the process.
In the SEAL Teams, we say, “Embrace the Suck.” It is a reminder that it is better to accept discomfort than to fight it. When you are adapting, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
That is not a setback. That is the path.
Once you understand that discomfort is part of the process, the next step is learning how to move through it with intention. Over the years, I have found that adapting to change comes down to five basic actions. They are simple, practical, and repeatable. More importantly, they give you a way to lead yourself, and others, when change shows up.
One of two things is happening, you are either getting ambushed by an unforeseen ocean wave of change or you have decided to willingly swim into the wave of change. Either way, you must be aware of your situation and acknowledge it to yourself as accurately as you can. I use the word Acknowledge because it means you are aware of your situation, you have assessed it, prepared yourself to learn something and are preparing to take an appropriate action.
When confronted with doing something new to you, it is very possible you will not know what to do next. If you don’t have the time or resources (i.e. someone to ask who’s done it before), then take your best guess on what action to take first. You are guessing here, this is part of the learning journey of adapting, so take it for what it is – a guess! Leading involves risk, determine your first best action and GO! Here’s the key, do not allow yourself to get wrapped up with which action you should take first. If it’s not a good action, try another one. Failure is nothing more than feedback. If an action works – GREAT! - Do it again. If it doesn’t, learn why and move on.
The word “adapt” means to adjust your mindset to take new actions. When taking an action, it’s very important to understand that you will most likely not succeed at first. Adapting is like climbing a mountain – one step/one action at a time. The bigger the wave of change, more actions adapting will require. Have a student’s mindset – get curious about the actions you take. Be like a “machine gunner” in SEAL Team, they expect to miss the target because they shoot in front of it but then walk the bullets into the target. Adapting is the same thing; walk your actions into the desired outcome you seek. There is no adapting without action. Every action you take gets you closer to embracing the change you seek.
When you are doing something new to you the biggest challenge will be staying motivated to try again will full commitment (i.e. ALL-IN action). Nothing is more disheartening than giving all you have only to feel like you’re moving backwards, like swimming out to ride that metaphorical wave of change only to feel like you are getting pushed back. Progress is the fuel of hope. Progress, however slight, can propel us to try again. We need progress – your goal of every action you take is to find the progress in your action. I want you to develop a filter to seek progress in every action you take, to include telling yourself as you take an adapting action that you are making progress simply by taking the current action whether it works or not.
Whether adapting involves just you or a team, ALWAYS talk kindly to yourself. It is one of the single most destructive things we can do to ourselves – beat our inner selves up. Leading is a mindset game, we are deciding moment by moment whether we believe we can or can’t do something. We will allow our inner voices to talk so much more negatively to ourselves than we would ever allow anyone else to talk to us. Be kind to yourself during your adapting journey – change is hard work and it is only harder if we are hard on ourselves or others trying to help us. Give yourself grace and be your own biggest fan for trying something new to you!
So there it is, one of my favorite acronyms: ADAPT.
It only took me 50+ years to learn it! I want you to learn from my adapting journeys so you can more confidently go surf those waves of change on your journey to be unstoppable at achieving your dreams!
Trust me, it’s way better learning to surf the waves of change then get pummeled by them!
Go ADAPT!
CHARLIE MIKE.
Alden