I have given 20 keynote speeches in the last 10 weeks, and I have heard the same theme in every single one of them:
Change. The fear of it. How to deal with it. How to overcome it.
Nationwide, companies and organizations spanning automotive, finance, healthcare, and technology are all grappling with the same challenge. It is a completely normal human condition to fear change because the root cause of most change fears comes from the unknowns it represents. Our minds find comfort in familiarity. The known represents routine. It gives us a sense of expectation and predictability about what comes next.
That is why comfort zones feel so comfortable. Inside our comfort zone, we operate with a mindset of, "Been there, done that, and I know I can do it again."
The problem is that if we stay in any comfort zone for too long, we miss opportunities to grow. Growth requires friction, and friction is found when we do something new. We need that struggle because it forces us to wrestle with the unknown. When we do, we get stronger. We build new neural pathways. We develop new skills. We expand our capabilities. In short, we change to adapt to the requirements of change.
Transformation comes from the struggle of embracing the unknown.
At the core of any meaningful change are two basic fears:
1. The fear of staying put.
2. The fear of moving forward.
Most people spend their lives focused on the second fear.
They worry about what could go wrong if they take action. They worry about failure, rejection, embarrassment, setbacks, or uncertainty.
But there is another fear that often gets overlooked.
What happens if you don't act? What happens if you stay exactly where you are?
Until the fear of staying put becomes greater than the fear of moving forward, most people will stay put.
To embrace change means we must take action in the direction of the change we face. Those actions require commitment. They require what I call ALL-IN action. The more committed we are, the more progress we make, and the faster we adapt to the change in front of us.
Which brings us to the real question:
How do we lead ourselves headfirst into the unknown?
I often end my keynotes talking about one of the most terrifying moments in SEAL training: Advanced Military Free Fall training.
In this course we learned High Altitude Low Opening (HALO) and High Altitude High Opening (HAHO) operations from altitudes up to 24,000 feet. We learned how to jump with supplemental oxygen at night while carrying full combat gear. We learned how to navigate under canopy as a team.
The jumps themselves were not what scared me most.
It was packing my own parachute.
I had this belief that I was terrible at folding things, and now my life depended on how well I folded my parachute.
My focus became consumed by that fear. and the story ends with a twist.
The instructors were not primarily evaluating how well we packed our parachutes. They were grading us on how we left the ramp of the airplane.
Did we hesitate? Did we require repeated encouragement? Did we freeze?
Or did we commit and launch ourselves headfirst into the unknown?
If someone repeatedly hesitated, the instructors would introduce them to a recruiter who helped them find a different job in the military.
They wanted commitment.
Jumping headfirst sends a message to everyone else on the jump team.
It says: "I'm ALL-IN."
It is a non-verbal demonstration of commitment, and commitment is contagious.
Of course it is scary to jump into the unknown. That is exactly what happens every time you leave a perfectly good aircraft. You don't know exactly what is going to happen next. Yes, you have trained. Yes, you have prepared. But there is still uncertainty.
That fear is normal. The key is not eliminating fear. The key is understanding which fear should be driving you.
Advanced Military Free Fall training was the next step in my SEAL career. If I stayed put and failed to complete the course, my future as a SEAL would be severely limited. To me, staying put was unacceptable.
As scared as I was about packing a parachute and jumping into the unknown, those fears became smaller than my fear of no longer being able to continue serving as a SEAL.
I used one fear to overcome another. The fear of staying put became fuel for moving forward.
That is the secret.
Your fears don't disappear. They simply get diminished by the courage of pursuing something that matters deeply to you.
When people think about change, they often overwhelm themselves by looking at everything they have to overcome.
Focus on what is directly in front of you. In my case, it was leaving the ramp of the aircraft.
In your case, it might be making a phone call, starting a business, applying for a new role, having a difficult conversation, or taking the first step toward a goal you've been putting off.
Courage rarely arrives all at once. It usually starts with one committed action.
Then another. Then another.
One ALL-IN action creates momentum for the next. Courage is contagious, especially within yourself.
The first action is always the hardest.
To help yourself take that action, build a strong emotional connection to why staying put is unacceptable.
Whether it was trying out for the SEAL Teams or starting a business, I would think about the consequences of not achieving my goal. I would imagine what it would feel like telling people I quit SEAL training. I would imagine what it would feel like to give up on my business.
I created such a strong emotional connection to those outcomes that I became willing to commit everything I had, and then even more that I didn't know was inside me.
When you build that kind of emotional connection to your efforts, something powerful happens.
You won't stop.
You'll become Unstoppable.
Every meaningful change requires courage.
Not courage for the entire journey. Just courage for the next step.
When the fear of staying put becomes greater than the fear of moving forward, action becomes possible.
Take that first step. Commit. Go ALL-IN.
Your fears may never completely disappear, but they will shrink as your courage grows.
And before long, you'll discover what every successful person eventually learns: The first step was the hardest.
CHARLIE MIKE.
Alden